The Rock

I don't mean Dwayne Johnson or even the movie. I mean the one up my son's nose. Yup, he did it again. Saturday night he got up in the middle of the night and decided it was a good idea to shove a rock up his nose. We still don't know why. Unlike the last time, I wasn't able to get this one out. I wasn't even able to see the entire thing. He had shoved it so far up his nose, that I couldn't even see the entire rock. After trying for about a half an hour, using the usual methods, (sigh) we first called our new pediatrician. My son sat on my bed with me while we waited for the call back occasionally whacking the back of his head with his hand in order to try to get it out. My husband and I still can't talk about that without laughing hysterically.

My husband gets out the insurance card in anticipation of the inevitable hospital visit. He notices there is a 24 hour nurse hotline and calls. We told her our problem, and after she quit laughing, she told us we needed to go to the ER.

Stas wants Daddy to take him so I stay home with the baby. They get home about an hour and a half later. The nurse at the ER couldn't see the rock and assumed he swallowed it. Or it's in his sinuses. Or it fell out. They never did see a doctor. The ER was shorthanded and they were told it would be 5 hours before they saw an ENT. On the way home, Stas tells Daddy the rock fell out in the car....

Yeah, right.

On Sunday I clean the ENTIRE car. No rock. No pebbles. No boulders. Nothing. Do you know how hard that is with two boys?

Later he goes to the bathroom and calls us in --he's very excited. He says the rock came out his bum. He felt something tight come out and he's sure it's the rock. I explained to him that the rock wouldn't pass that quickly. Nope, he's sure he pooped it out.

Monday morning he goes to school and I called the pediatrician office. They want him in right away. So, the baby goes to a friend's house and I pick up Stas to go to the doctor's. She examines him--you know by sticking something up his nose. He throws such a tremendous fit that it took 3 of us to hold him down. Now, he will happily shove rocks with hard and sharp edges up as far as his fingers will allow but a smooth plastic nozzle attatched to a light being wielded by a professional is traumatizing. Go figure. No rock. Again.

The doctor questions him and decides that he really doesn't know what happened to the rock and says to be on the safe side, we need to see an ENT and they will call with an appointment in a couple days . I go pick up the baby, visit a while and take the kids home for lunch and a nap. The ENT's office calles as soon as the baby fell asleep and said they wanted to see us now and the doctor would only be there for an hour.

Ok, wake baby up, call husband to come home. He can't. Wok is at her doctor's appointment. Family friends from the morning are painting. Called Jenn; she said sure! I warned her the baby hadn't napped. She's not fazed.

I get to the ENT in exactly one hour. He wants to use a scope to look up there. It's about the size of spaghetti. Stas FREAKED out. The ENT goes to get a couple nurses while I calm him down. I decided bribery was the way to go. Here's how it goes: You don't kick, hit or flail and we can have Old McDonalds's for dinner. Done. He squirmed but let the nurse and me hold him so the doctor could look up there. No rock. He must have swallowed it the doctor assumes. But we are on the lookout for smelly snot. Yay.


Around 9:30 that night Stas gets up and asks for a tissue. We just look at him. He declares vehemently "I didn't put a rock up my nose, I'm just stuffy!" Yeah, we got your number, kid.